Hi Everyone,hope that you all is doing ok,I am hanging in there,thats about all I can say for now,that I am just hanging in there.Life in my world,has been something else.Dont know what to think of it anymore.I know God is good,Hes amazing,still doesn't mean,I don't have my trials and struggles,which you all know.Do I wish I an turn back time and make it all ok?Of course,who doesn't?I am so sick and tired of being in,I am guessing you call it a pitty party for one,right?Thats,what I am doing?I need to stop this,but,I got it so in my mind that I just want to stay in the depressed mode for ever and I know that's worng,depression is a sin,is it not?I am so sicn abd tired if being in my own enmtions,I hate it,I want to wake up and stop feeling the way I feel,been feeling like this for s long,even when living in the old house,but,I am tired,just so tired of living with it.I don't ever think there will be hapyness in my world,always thought that,I am tired,I don't want to feel tat anymore/I want to be happy,I want to enjoy life,even thoe things are hard,like,right now,my world is upside down,dad died sevral years ago and now mom,but,I do belive,mom can get better and she will,even thoe,my brothers don't think that she needs to come home,she is coming home,she will be home,were she belongs.Do you know,I don't like myself very much,yet,I smile and I love to smile,love to give love to others,dont feel confidence in myself,that is something I want so much.I am tired of living in the past,holding onto regrets,mistakes,lies,everyone sees me as a good,caring hearted person and I am,but,I have made many,many mistakes.I am not perfect,never tried to be.I have given up on myself,I am tired of doing that and I don't want to do that anymore.I need to stop worrying about everyone elss life,how they feel about me,need to worry about my own for once.I need to face fear head on,dont know how,always been like this,I know,I can get out of it,just don't know,even taking baby steps scare me.Will stop now,getting sleepy.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout!!
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Hi Amanda, I am glad to have been able to get into your blog...thank you. i am sorry that you feel the way you do and can feel how hard it is for you... I cannot give you any advice other than take all your worries and concerns to the Lord in Prayer. There is a wonderful hymn called "take it to the Lord in Prayer" we sang it on Sunday perhaps you know it...it would help us all to remember it... I am sure your Mom will get home as soon as possible, do not let your brothers negativity bother you ...you know your Mom best and I am sure she knows you best as well and will be lookig forward to getting home as soon as it is possible...so hang on in there...and remember that once you take your worries to the Lord you MUST leave them there...it is no use asking him to help and then not expecting it to happen
ReplyDeleteNight night and much love x Sybil
Honey fear only has as much power as we give it. Facing our problems isn't fun but it is really necessary if we are to enjoy life.I got stuck for awhile when i was younger so got some counseling. It helped. Maybe you can consider going, if you're not already. What sweet Sybil says is right; giving our problems to the Lord and trusting Him with them is the very best thing to do. Jesus tells us to not worry about anything. He says "Let not your heart be troubled.." What he is saying is do not allow yourself to worry. Why? Because He is willing to take care of us if we will let him.
ReplyDeleteYour Mom has it rough right now. All of you do but the worst days will be behind you one day. Honey life is full of trials. Trials help us see our weaknesses, where we need to grow. I pray for you all the time. Take care, okay?
Love you much.