Dont know what to do anymore!But,not going to give up!

Hey guys,

                Hows it going?Good I hope.I hope everyone had a nice Happy Fathers Day!!!I am missing mine sooooooooo much,I know he is in a better place and not hurting,but,I want my Dady!!!!I am dealing with a lot of stress and right now,I feel like I am having a really major panic attack,probllay all in my head,usllay what my Dad would say.I just feel like I cant take it anymore.I am very worried about my Mom.I didn't relize how serious,well,I know its serious,but, seeing how my mom is acting,which is,I can see she is scared,shes getting ready to have surgey,getting one of her anurisems out,think the she is getting out is the one in her head,she has one in her head her stomach and cant remember were else.She has to be relaxed,my mom,relaxed?I don't think so,cant remember a time when shes not worrying about something.There a lot of tension between her and I right now,she don't want to talk to anyone.Sometimes,I feel she just don't get me,I am trying so much to get things done,keep the house clean,which is always my falt for the house being messy if something is broken,she don't want the house to be like the old house.I felt like I was being blamed for everything,everything is my falt.She cant drive,her Doctor said,not very good idea,dont know if this is forever that she wont be driving,so,I know shes under a lot of stress for everything shes going through.Taking care of my mom is not easy,for those who had to take care of there loved ones,know how I feel,but,still wouldn't have it any other way,I love my mom,were very close,maybe that's why at times we get on eachothers nerves.Talking about it helpsI had to grow up a lot,give up a lot.Will stop here,will be back,juat tired,want to shut my eyes and just sleep.I love you all.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.