Hi steve,I know your a very busy person,thanks for taking the time to read my message.I have been thinking about a lot of things.I have been thinking alot about happiness and what it actullay really means to me,that I don't know.My feelings and emtions get the best of me of not wanting to be happy,to be honest,I am not happy.I hate the word happy.How do I know if I am happy?Alot of things I cant let go of,Dad for one thing,I miss Him so much,know He would want me to move on,mistakes,I made from the past,I am not proud of.This world scares me,sometimes,I am afraid to sleep at night.I know I am a Chritian,saved by God,but,I am human,I guess?Amanda AuntieEm Messersmith
I never thought turning 41 would have such an impact on me,I don't think I have come very far in life,yes,I am learning new things,I love going to church,hearing Gods words,being with good Christian friends,but,what do I have to offer in life?Nothing.I feel like I am not a good person,I want so much to have fun,to be happy,to laugh,enjoy life,I been to a lot of places,travled a lot,which I love doing.So,why am I still not happy?I pray,I try to read my bible. want my Dad back,is,that so bad to think that?Even thoe we wasn't close,I know He loved me and I told Him,I loved Him.But,i still hurts,even as I am typing this.I lost intrest in a lot of things I used to once loved doing,like,my hobbies,writting letters,doing crafts,ect,maybe its apart of growing up that you looses intrest in things you love doing?Do you think I am depressed?I want soo much to have a friend in my life,times,feel like I been trying to hard to make one,dont wantto do that,but,Iget very lonely.I hate it.Do you think I have a good life?Do you think I will find a good friend,not talking about a husband,dont think I am meant to be married.I am 41,still living at home and I don't drive.
I stoped here,if I wite more to Him,I will post it here.Love you all,thank you for listing.Be safe out there,be kool and Peaceut!!!
I stoped here,if I wite more to Him,I will post it here.Love you all,thank you for listing.Be safe out there,be kool and Peaceut!!!
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it is good you can talk to your brother. maybe you should find a good therapist to talk to about your father. maybe a Christian therapist. your father would have wanted you to move on with your life and enjoy it. i offer my prayers to you that you will find happiness.
ReplyDeleteIts perfectly OK to miss your dad honey, but its not fair you feel so unhappy. Is there someone you can talk to? You deserve to be happy! Xo
ReplyDeleteHi amanda,
ReplyDeletelove the picture of the puppy, is it yours?
sorry you're unhappy..hope you find something like a hobby to keep your self busy. writing is a great source of outlet...to write how you feel and just letting it all out.
-gem