I am actullay here!!!!!!

Hi Everyone,well,lets see if this actullay works out.LOL.Because knowing you and I,I really need to talk,let it all out.First of all,I hope that everyone is doing good,having a good night,a good weekend.I am hanging in there,trying to.My life has tottlay changed since my Dad passed,hasnt been all bad,but,lately,I been just depressed,trying to hold on.Sometimes,I dont want to hold on,I dont feel strong,I feel week.I am trying so hard to be happy with my life,giving my life to God,I know God is there,but half the time it doesnt seem like it.How can you be happy when your whole entire life has changed?Never in a million years did I think my Dad would die,to be honest,we all thought Mom would go first,because of Her health problems,which She still has alot of them.W
ouldnt know what I do if I losed my Mom to,probllay wind up in the insane word,how ever you spell it,maybe not,but,lets not think about that.Than moving was a huge step,I am now trying to call it home,still miss going upstairs to my room,when I get home,I have no were to hide,when the kids are around.LOL.You know I love them,I love them alot,I love being an Aunt.I love to spoil them with love.There are so many things I want to say,I am already saying alot now.LOL.But not nearly as much as I want to say.You never know how much your whole life can change till someone you love dies.I miss my Dad soooooooo much it hurts and I know you all know how it feels to loose someone you love.I just lost a dear sweet friend last Sat,died of Cancer,She was and still my Bestfriend,maybe you heard of me mentiong Her,Her name was Lisa Knicley,died of the age of 40,so young,but Shes not in pain anymore.Her Mom,family and another cose friend,didnt know She was bad off till Thursday,still dont know all of the details.She did have Ca

ncer on Her back,but they got rid of that and guessing found Cancer in Her brain,thats how She died.I still think Shes here.Wanting to talk to Her so much.We talked alot on Fb,near the end we didnt talk as much because we had some disagreements,we were giving eachother space,but,I have always told Her on Fb in Her chat box that I loved Her and was always praying for Her.Told Her we would always be Bestfriends.She had a heart of gold,was so sweet and loveable,made you smile,gave you hugs.Always said She missed me so much.I regret not seeing Her alot since I had to move.I dont drive,so,its not easy for me getting around.I am going to stop here,see if this finally works,Let me know guys.You know I will be back.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.