Hi Everyone,how is everyone doing?Good I hope.I am hanging in there,alot going on in my life than ever before,its a strugel and wanting to give up so many times,but,I cant give up.I just want to know,when am I going to have my time of happyness in my life?Ever since my Dad passed last year,so many things have changed,Mom and I had to move and make a new life in a new home,we have a dog we love sooooooo much,brings so much joy,love,laughter in our lives,Hes soooo smart.I just feel like,right now my life is such a mess,I am trying to give it to God,just cant understand why things arent going my way?What do I have to do and I have been asking God that.I been strugling with addiction of pain killers and aniexity pills,I just want the pain to go away,I am not on the now,only thing I am taking is Paxil.I been having alot of problems with eating,anything I eat or drink would get stuck in my throat and I have to get it out and I choke alot of times,the smallest of bite even gets stuck and I cant even swollow big or small pills.I know alot of people like me and love me,I just dont understand why I dont have that one friend who i can go to,who I can hang with,talk with,rather it be that perfect mate or a girlfriend,no,not in that way.LOL.Gary I broke up,but Hes comming to church this Sunday,after words were going to talk and I think we need to,because 11 years of being together is a long time to just let it hang if you all know what I mean.Yes,I miss Him,I will be honest,He has some bad flaws,but we all do.But He also did alot for me and I know He loved and still loves me,I am not making any excuses for Him or for myself.Now I have to figure out what I want and tell Him,that is going to be hard.I dont want him to be there just because I need Him,I want Him there because I love Him and He loves me,but He also knows my Mom comes first,She needs me,because Shes got alot of health issues.This is the first post I have done in a long time,so,I am going to stop here and maybe back later.I am thinking of going plubic again,but not to sure about that yet.I love and miss you all I will try to be around more often.One more thing,I feel I have no intrest in life,no fun in my life,I dont do any of the hobbies I used to love doing,I dont laugh.Maybe I am still going through process with loosing my Dad and braking up with my Boyfriend.Stay warm and safe out there.Peaceout.
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hi Amanda.you maybe know i got MS,and i choke a lot too. scary isnt it? i cant tell you why you are having this problem,but stress wont help.few things i do know.1,dont eat your food sitting in armchair,sit up at table,it helps.2,drink plenty of water,small sips with food,3 avoid foods with skins,grapes,etc.thems evil lol.4,chocolate is another bad one to swallow,as are cereals,bread,rice.secret is to take smaller mouthfulls and chew well. dont rush your food. if you have trouble taking tablets,maybe they are available in a liquid form? and lastly,i run a group on facebook,its for people with any health issues that make life bad.if you would like to be added,please let me know.think theres one or 2 in it you already know.tc,mort
ReplyDeletehello amanda. my daughter, who is 26, is named amanda. such a beautiful name. and though i don't know you, from reading this entry in your blog, i feel a closeness to you. you are undergoing stress and grief, a bad combination. you were apparently very close to your father, and his loss has caused you to feel this way. and then the stress AND grief of parting ways with your bf of many years. a bit much for anyone. just let God lead you with His Hand, and hold close the memories of your father, but do not let his passing keep you from experiencing a joyous life. i commend you for wanting to care for your mother, and i am sure you are a fantastic daughter to her. but you also cannot let taking care of her interfere with having a fulfilling life for yourself. there has to be a mix of everything. glad you are posting again. i am a writer, and have learned that writing is therapy. the more you write, the better you will feel. i even have a private blog that i write things in that i would never post publicly. but it helps me to be a better person. so blog away, dear amanda. we will read............
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