Another one from Me!!!!!!!

Hi everyone,hope you all is having a good weekend.Right now,I am feeling sooo down,I dont know why.I feel like I just want to hide from the world.I miss my Dady sooooo much,I am scared for my Mom,for my future.I wish everything was the same,wish my Dad was alive,wish,my Mom was in good health,wishing,I was still living at my old house were I gerw up.So many memories.I miss it sooooo much.I feel like I am all alone in the world.IYes,I miss my Ex,He did texted me today and said He missed me,that was it,which was nice.I miss Him to,so much I miss about Him.But than again,I think a part of me was using Him and He was with me.A long sotry,dont want to get into.I am just feeling really sad tonight,feeling really down,like,I will never have a peace of mind,a peace in my heart that I know God can give me.I know hardly no one reads this Blog,but,it doesnt matter,because,I need a place to come here and vent.When is everthing going to fall in place?When am I ever going to be happy?I know the diffrence between being happi in the world,and having happyness in your heart,thats what I want more than anything is having happyness in my heart with the love of God.I want to start loving this house,having good happy memories,which we are,just is taking a long time and with the Holidays coming,its going to be really hard.I know I am a Christian and I am saved,it just doesnt feel like it,I am new at this,even thoe sevral years ago,I was already saved and baptized.But,I redectiaed myself again to the Lord,I got saved and baptized.I just feel sometimes,like right now,I feel like I am going crazy.LOL.Which I know I am not,I am a very sad and lonly person right now,because I dont have many friends to talk to,dont know how to reach out.

I know that things will be ok,I know things will turn out for the better,just right now,everything isnt ok,everything is a mess and I know I need to keep leaning on God,its hard,its hard leaning on Him,when He is always there,when,I am always doubting Him.But,He never leaves my side.Like I said,I know things will get better,they have to,cant get any worse.I want to have a good and happy life,I just dont know how to do that.I want to do the things I used to love doing.I hope I get that back,I hope I get that smile and laugheter back into my life,which,I know it will happend and it is happening,just slowly.Hurry up and come into my life.LOL.I am going to stop here and come back later.I hope I can sleep tonight,I am also having problems sleeping,cant sleep very good.I just worry about so much.I need to come back here to my Blog and keep letting it all out.Thank you all for listing.Love you all!!!Be safe and warm out there.Winter is finallly here.LOL.Peace Out!!!One more thing,have a safe and HAPPY HAWLLOEEN!!!!