Rest in peace,Dad,I love you,always and forever!!!

Hi Everyone,how are you all doing?Good I hope.I on the other hand,is just feeling like my whole life is falling apart.Most of you all know from Face Book,that my Dad passed away a week ago,burried,Him,last Tuesday.Its been really,really,hard,feling like I cant breath in this house.For the ones who read my Blog,thats,why,I am letting you all know.It was all of a sudden,a shock,still a shock.He died of a heart attack.He had been sick,not feeling good,that day,when,it happend,He was going to the Doctors,because,He knew He was sick,He is stubborn,wont,go,till,it gets bad.He was,getting ready to clean up,take a shower,Mom,was going with Him,She walked out,came back and found Him on the floor,She was the only one in the house,I was off that day,but,went out with Gary,to the movies.Mom,called,911,did,Cpr,took,Him to the Hosiptal,everyone was in a room,waiting to see what was going to happend.I didnt know anything,till,I got out of te movies and saw a call on my cell,that was from,my Sister,She never calls,unless its an ermgency,which,it was,thought,it was my Mom,because,She,had a stroke,sevral years back.My,Sister,wouldnt tell me what happend,She,was asking for my Brothers numbers,than,told,me,to come to the Hosiptal.Gary and I went into the room,were my Mom,my,Sister,few peope from church,than,Her Husband came in.My Mom was an emtional reckShe was hitting Herself,we had to keep teeling,Her to calm down.They,flew my Dad to another Hosiptal because of His heart.This is tragic for my family,specillay for my Mom,She,still needs prayers.We all do,because,this is a life change for everyone,but,mostly,Mom and I.My,Dad,He was our whole life,He was here everyday,we saw Him,everyday.He took me everywere,I needed to go.I am going to miss Him sooooooooooooooooo much,it still hurts.Which,will,still hurt for a long time.I know,it may get easy as time goes by,but,we are all hurting.Even,my couisn,who we raised as a baby and is,my,Brother,no,matter what.He was there for my Mom alot,through this all.Stayed at the house at night with Mom and I.I am greatful to have Him for my Brother.I still dont really know how to handel this,I feel,I am not myself anymore,feel like I have changed,life is not fun anymore.Maybe it will get better in time,but,its going to take a long time.

Everyone has been really good with Mom and I.Thoes few days before the viewing and the funeral,it was hard.We had both of my Brothers and there kids,staying here,it was nice having them here to keep everyone together.But,hard.I am,again,so,greatful to have a loving familyYou never relize how much love someone,till they are gone.My last words to my Dad was,bye,I will see you later.Mom,keeps asking Herself,why,was She alone,when it happend,I could have been alone with Him,when it happend.You just never know.Mom and I now have to learn to to do everything on our own now.I cant loose my Mom,which,She been going to the Doctors,they,say,Her Kidneys arebad,if She doesnt change Her diet,She will die.I will be alone.So,feeling like my life is a mess right now.I dont want to do anything,all,I want to is,be in my room and not doing anything.I wish my Dad was back,wish,my Mom was healthy.But,you cant turn back the clock.You just have to move on,take it one day at a time,one,munite at a time.we had to have someone stay at the house with us,a lady from church,we wont go there,because,all,I have to say,its not working out.Mom,kicked Her out yesterday.So,not sure whats going to happend.I think,what is going to happend is,Mom and I will move in my Sisters house,stay,down stairs,its like an apartment,but,its not finished.One bedroom is finished,that will be Moms and I will have my own.Only thing,I worry about is,I know,I should go to church more,but,they cant make me go and I know,tha sounds bad.I am mad and angry and really dont want to be there.Its not Gods falt,its,just that,I am angry.I am going to stop here,because,I am tired,I still have lots more to say,lots more to get out.But,I think I am going to lay down or get back on Face Book for a while.Fb,is so addicting.LOL.Anyways,thank you all who sent cards,it meant alot.Thank you all for being there for me,each and everone of you all.I go back to work next Tuesday,Wed and Sat,3 days is good for now,because,I cant get back and forth,easy.Be safe abd warm out there.Peaceout.One more thing,its like,I cant breathe,my stomach hurts,I ache all the time.I am stressed out.