Hi,its me again.

This is one of my beatiful neices Shannon,from my 2 oldest Brother,they have 4 kids.She wants t o be a Missonary when grows up.Isnt She beatiful?I think She is.

Hi everyone,hope you all is doing ok,I am hanging in there,well,I am trying to hang in there.I feel like my whole world has changed,my,whole life.I dont want to accept that my Dad is gone,I know,you all,say,the things to help me out and I am sure,as time goes by,it will get easyer,but,when,will that happend?So much stress in this house,so much tension,I want to be there for my Mom and I am,I know,shes hurting so bad,even,thoe,they didnt get along,alot of times,She loved my Dad,She says,She misses Him teasing Her,even,thoe,She didnt like it,isnt that,strange?I dont feel like doing much of anyhting anymore,like,having fun or doing my crafts.It is still so new.I hate it.I never knew that we would loose Him,but,I guess that is life,life is so precious,you never know whats going to happend.I still feel like Hes going to walk in that door.I have to sleep with my Mom at night,I hate it,but,I do it to make Her feel safe.we dont feel safe in this house.We are moving,just,going to take a while for my Sisters Husband to work on a house for us,they,already have a house in mind and we saw it.I dont know,if I had mention in my other entry that,my Dad,wanted Me and my Mom to live near my Sister.Its,right near Her,right across the street,in the next neighborrhood.Its a cute small house,just what we need,even has a fence,so,we can have a dog,which,Mom wants.It would be nice to have a dog to keep us company.This house is just way to big for us and is not a safe neighborhood.We have to live with a lady from church,which,isnt doing very good.Thats why all of the tension is going on in the house.But,Dad,didnt want us to live alone.I miss Him soooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not that I miss Him,because,He took care of us,I miss Him,because,I love Him soooo much,it hurts.Some days are good and some days are bad.I dont understand why this had to happend.To be honest with you all,we,thought,my Mom,would go first,because,She had so many health issues,She,had the a stroke first.I guess thats mean to say.Thats what my Mom thinks to,She told me the other day,why,did it have to be Him,I really,didnt know what to say.I know in time,it will get easy,just,taking forever.The only time I have really cryed was at the Hosiptal and at the Funreal.I have let tears flow out,but,not really have let it all out and,maybe,thats what I need to do.My family has been a big help,my brothers,even,my couisn,who will always be my brother,Hes been a big help.I remmebr,when,He was a kid,and in,Highschool,He was so bad as a kid,hated my Mom,actullay,hated HEr,because,His real Mom didnt want Him,thats the truth.We raised Him,Hes grown into a good man,married and has 3 beatiful kids.Hes the one who came to the house,when it all happend and stayed with us sevral nights,drove us to the Hosiptal.My SIsters,Husband has been a big help to,HE is the one taking care of all of Dads things,making sure Mom and I will be ok,that,everything will be taken care for us.I felt like I had to come here and let it all out,and this is not half of it.I will be back.I hate sleeping with my Mom,but,I do it,to make Her safe.I hope you all have a good day,week.Be safe and warm out there.I cant wait till summer,spring,I know,its backwords.LOL.But,I am soooooooooooooooo ready for it.Peaceout.This is my oldest Brother Steve and His wife Lisa,who are Missonarys in London Englad,I am sure,I talked about them,from time to time.Mom and I actullay might go back and see them this summer.Might be good for us to get away.