Oct 1, 2013

Me!!!

Hi guys,

               I hope that everyone is doing good.I am trying my best to hang in there.I felt like coming here tonight and just talking,letting it all out,as usllay.I don't know what I am doing anymore theeses days.I am sitting here,trying to figure out things to say,know they are always not so good.My mom,thinks,I am going through Minapause,I am very emotional,theeses days and I know,you thinking,I am to young,not so,my mom,went through it in her 30s and so did my sister.I been,cranky,eritated,emtional,depressed,sad,lonly,I know,some of it has to do with my mom not being home,thats,part of it,but,I don't know why I am feeling that way.I jus want to give up and I know I cant.I feel like I am not good enough for anyone,my life is one big mess and I know,its probllay all in my head.Theeses days,I just don't want to do anything,but,sleep.I cant seem to get my life together,why is that?I don't know,you tell me.Weres the fun in my life,at the age of 41,thinking that my life is over,but,I know its not.I am trying to do thing right,clean things around the house,nothing I seem to do,makes me feel any better about myelf,again,why?Why I am questioning myself?Vactions are good,but than you still have to come back to your life.Sometimes,I feel like I cant breathe.I cant eat,I cant sleep,know that has to do with stress.Why I cant get myself together and that I really want to,or is it that I just want to stay miserable?I don't want to do this anymore,I want to wake up and be normal and I don't feel normal.I wish my Dad was still alive,I miss him soooooooooooooo much and always will!!!Will I ever get to a place in my life were I will feel at peace?That is the question.Be back later.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.

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1 comment:

  1. SybilOctober 1, 2013 at 11:31 PM

    Hi Amanda, I think that maybe you need to have a talk with your Dr. if that is possible. You sound as if you are a bit depressed and that can be helped. it is not something to put up with...like some people say..pull yourself together....that will not help. the Dr might sugest you speak to a bereavement councillor...i know it is a long time sinse dad died but time does not matter and having Mom is hospital is like a kind of bereavment as well. I remember I felt a bit like you about 2 years or might even have been 3 years after my Mum died. Thankfully someone from church noticed and she sent me someone who juts came every week for a while and we just sat and talked and talked....I idin;t think it would do any good,, but it did. And although I still have dark days it is not so bad...Just you keep on keeping on love. This time too will pass.. sending much love from Sybil xx

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