Mondays hppenings.

Hi everyone,
I hope you all is having a good summer.I am doing good here,I hate to always say that I am not doing good,which,things could be alot worse and I need to relize that.Its just hard at times,because I get depressed.I often wonder why I get depressed,because I worry way to much and I know I am not going to stop worrying,so I shouldnt say that I am going to try and stop,belive me I want to,maybe I can try,but with just baby steps and I mean,little,tiny baby steps.I am relizing now why I am not happy with my life and I probllay have known that for a long time.I could make things better for myslef and stop worrying about what people think of me.Its scary and its hard,trying to find answers to my life to make it better.Half the time,I think this is it,this is my life,this is all I have to offer it.When I was younger,in highschool,I wanted to do alot of things with my life,I wanted to travel,which I have,but I would love to travel more,whish I had more money to do that.I wanted to also mke a diffrence in life,but I dont know how to do that. I hate the fact that I am not indapendent on my own,like I want to be,sometimes,than again,that scares me to,alot.I wish things were better.I am always looking for answers,wondering why,things arent better.Maybe its me,but,how do I make things better?I know its,take one day at a time,I dont know how to do that.I dont want to wake up everyday,thinking,its just aother day,to have nothing to look forward to.I used to have alot of fun,but I guess as you get older,its diffrent.I used to have sleep overs and wuld hang out with my friends all the time,but that was in highschool.It would be nice to have someone to talk to,thats another thing,I dont know how to make friends,I dont want a whole alot of friends,just someone that I can talk to or hang out with.I have a Bestfriend,Her name is Lisa Knicley,but I cant talk to Her like I can talk to you all.Maybe you can all tell me what I need to do.I know that one thing I would like to start doing is take my camra every were I go and start tkaing pics,like ome of the Blogs here doI used to do that a long time ago also and I would like to get back into doing that.

I want to try and have fun with my life,but,its hard,I dont know how to just let go,like having a sleep over with my girlfriend,I wonder whats worng with me that I dont do things like that anymore.Or is it,that I am set in my ways?Do I want to be alone?I dont think I do.Just so hard now days to find a good friend.I feel like you have to be more careful now days.Even when I am at work,which I have relize that my job,let me tell you,I never seen so many fake people in my life,who also love to gossip.I learned to keep my mouth shut.I will say I have gotton myself in trouble a few times,not with the head Boss,but,with people who like to gossip.Specillay,my Boyfriends Boss,He loves to gosip and I have someone in my Dapartment,if She hears anythin,She will go and tell Him and it goes back to my Boyfriend.Anyways,I need to get off of here and get cleaned up,well,I may take a nap,than clean up.I hope you all have a nice day out there.It hasnt been to hot here,which is a good thing,but,summer isnt over yet.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.