Another Entry from Me.

Hi Everone,

I hope you all is having a good summer.I am doing ok here,wish I was doing alot better,for one thing,I wish I waas feeling alot better about myself.I wish I could coome to my Blog and tell you good things about my life,because I know it always seems like my Blog is so negative,but this is the only thing I can come to,to talk about my feelings.But let me tell you,there are more things that I am not telling you all,that I dont even want to face myself,nothing bad,dont worry,mabey I shouldnt say it like that,just so many emtoins go through my mind,one thing that isnt good that I sit here in my room all day long,when I am not working and work doesnt help at all,when ou stress about it,even when I am not working,did you all get that?LOL.Like today,I was feeling depressed about myself as I always do,when I am not out and about with my Boyfriend,here I am sitting in my dark room,when it sunny and nice out.I was feeling very depressed,than I decied to get my butt up,go down stairs,wash my face,comb my hair and brush my teeth.I feel some better.I dont think it is good for me being in my room all day like this,but,there is nothing to around this house,thats why I feel aloe all the time.If I didnt have my LapTop,I would go crazy and if my puter crashed,I would go even more crazy.LOL.Maybe thats why my room depresses me soooooooooooo much,because I try and think of new things to do in here,but,I just ont know what,well,there are a few things I want to do in my room,but let me tell you,lately,I have been feeling,like I said,depressed and lazy,to be doing anything in my room.I woul love to paint my room,but,dont know what color,I wanted purple at first,but,I now want like an adult color,does that sound stupid?I will try and take pics of my room and put them in here,when I have more munites on my cell.So many things I relize about myself,that I wish I could over come,like my fears,fear of going out there in the world on my own,facing my life head on.Here I am 37 years old,still living in my parents house,and dont even like I am dependten on my own.I dont even know how to cook.Its like,I am scared of life and I am,I am being tottlay honest with you.I can sit here and talk all day,I may just do that.LOL.

I mean,sitting here in this room,wondering what I could do to change it around,makes me feel even more depressed.I hate looking at theeses 4 als in my room,but,I also hate it looking like a mess.My Boyfriend just came over and droped off some Taco Bell,I love there Mexican Pizzas and I got a Chicken Gordot or what ever t is called.LOL.,and a desert.I could go for a larg choclate malt from Baskin Robins,yummy,maybe I will get one tommrow.I dont know if I added Marley and Me in my Blog beofre or not,oh well.LOL.I love the movie,didnt think I would,but it is cute.My oldest Nephew told me to get Fire Proof and I want to see it,but,I think its a sad movie,He asked me how did I know Kirk Cameron,I said I grew up with Him,watching His show,Growing Pains,would never miss a single show,how things changed.How do you start to feel good about yourself?I have searched so long,I think I am finally giving up.How long will it take for me to start feeling good?You know one thing that doesnt help is work,my Job stresses me out soooooo much,but,I cant afford to loose it.I know they all talk about me and say that I am weak.I can tell you all that for once in my life,I really dont care for my job,but,right I need it and if something were to happend if I got fired,which I dont want to think about that,than,God has another plan for me.Which I hope that doesnt come to that.About my faith in God,I know it is very weak there.I wish things were better in that earea,maybe if things were better,things would be diffrent.Belive me I know what people at work are saying about me behind my back,I think about that,which I need to stop.They dont care bout me.

Well,I have more to say,but,I am getting tired,so,I think I am going to go lay down.Thanks for stoping by and leaving a comment.Be safe and kool out there.Peaceout.